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JOANNE
DECEMBER12'90.
ASB UNSW :)
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I AM A PRiNCESS x)

{Sunday, October 22, 2006}

Someoneeee makes me superdoper very ultra extra mega fully tabooly extremely really particulary greatly exceedingly truly seriously purely exceptionally remarkably especially foh shizzle mah nizzle enourmously excessively vastly vitally deeply outstandingly highly surpassingly utterly immensely tremendously crazily frequently eminently incredibly UBER happy. <3 lols x)

& I am a self-entitled princess =] . PRiNCESS JOANNEE is me :) lols . uberPRiNCESS x)

And I am quite bored at the moment. Bah. Hehe. But I'm happy cause my problem is solveeeedd ! Yay ! (H) Hopefully it stays this way :)

So want to say a thankyou to the following =)

nam. jess. wei. sharon. kevin.c eddie. peter. jenny. lien. eddy. for being such supportive friends and/or listen to my whingings and/or gives good advice and/or actually read my entries and comment. =p Tehehs. ~

Sigh. Goodluck to everyone for the history exam tomorrow >.<

&& Everyone the formal date is confirmed ! 21st of November bitches BE THERE ......... OR. Umm. BE A BEAR rofl (H) =D

loveLOVElovelots <3


♥ 20:55

COMMENTS (11)  

there'sfhgafhdholedfhfdhinsidedhdhmydhfdhheartsgd.

{Saturday, October 21, 2006}

Sharon - gosh joanne. such a deep entry haha. your writing's so good (x_x) *HUG HUG*

funny how your title is "Theres a hole inside" then theres a heart right after it xD

anyhoos, i cbb to type anymore. too. lazy. haha.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HI =] . Deep entry? I don't know. = *sigh* nah. I'm not good at writing. Especially since it's a blog entry.

Anyways. Yeah. The title. It's like.. meant to be a pun? Ionos. As in; there's a hole inside my heart. & there's a hole inside. Then with the <3 next to it. Which is kinda like an oxymoron. Rofl.. what the hell am I saying -_-'' bahs. Ty&hughug to you to, ff :]

Lien - huns xx
you okay ? agree with the chick below, it does sound deep. you sound really hurt.

keep your head up high. eventually all your problems will go away.

you need sadness to bring you happiness =)

iloveyouforever! and i know i cant understand what your going thru cos im oh so to young *stands proud* ahhas <3 but im always heree for you hunnayee ;)

Hellos dear. Yeah I guess they all go away in the end =.= but troi oi! >.< lols.. aish.

While going through it seems like forever. & yeah. To be able to feel happiness you need to have gone through sadness to appreciate it. =)

Lol. Loser. Don't make me feel old ): <3

Jess - hey darling,

sounds like some tragic here, awwwhhh *hugs.

Remember i once said, people come & go, don't take it to the heart too much. there's still plenty of life infront of us, and i'm sure one day, you'll look back to this incident and realise it's such a small matter.

It will hurt, cry out loud darling if that makes you feel better, but after you cry or take your saddness out, say to yourself, "that's it, i've released all the pain, now it's to keep my chin up and keep looking forward"

you never know what each day will bring, maybe tomorrow you will meet a new friend that will eventually become super uber important to you, sure i understand noone can replace this friend of yours, but friends are suppose to make you smile, and if he/she is not, then it's not worth it darl.

i feel for you, that you don't know what you did wrong, but if things are like this, why do we need to digg to the bottom of it? what difference will it make? it will just keep dragging you back to this incident causing continous pain in your heart, you need to walk away from this babe, let things be. overall, the truth may hurt more?

Independent's good, because you know relying on yourself, at least you won't get hurt. :) it's ok to rely on someone every now & then (just like i rely on BEN.Z to take my anger out & all teehhee) but just make sure you know the boundary and limits and don't go over the board, if not you'll just be back to square one :D

anyways, take care darl! i'm sure you're strong enough to pull through this :D if you need to talk more :) feel free to holla me on msn :)

xoxo.

That was the longest comment ever. It's like the length of an entry =P Not really a "tragic" though =p . That's a bit of an exaggeration there =p. But ahah =]

Yeah. People come and go. But some do stay. It all depends on how well you get along or how much you mean to eachother I guess. Sometimes close friends do grow apart. Only to be replaced by someone else.

I don't know :( Confuzzled about stuff I guess. *shrug; no idea what's going on inside my mind.  

Sometimes I'm like omfg. I seriously can't be bothered to try anymore. & then I'd be like aww but after everything blahblah don't wanna lose it again and stuff. = & don't want to give up and stuff. So yeah. My mind's constantly having an argument. And then no conclusion forms. And I'm just like =.= zomg. Lols.

And about the "what did I do wrong" thingy. I kind of want to know, yet at the same time don't. I feel like knowing what I did wrong, so I can prevent it from happening again. However at the same time I'm too scared of the truth. And scared of getting hurt by it. Even though I don't know how. :/

Haha; I have no idea what I'm trying to say -_-'' I'm hopeless at trying to express myself clearly = =;

But anyways (: thanks for you superlong comment. =] It helped me a lot and made me realise alot as well :) Thanks so much, jess dear<3

Jenny - oh hunay sure was a deep deep entry .. & the music n all ..

darls it hurts to see that you're in so much pain but @ school you seem to act everythings all fine ..
*hugggs*

my baby, dont really know much comforting things to say ..
but im here everytime u need me

love ya heapps <3

Haha. Yeah. Happy at school. Cause I figured nothing's going to change if I'm all sad/depressed or whatever at school. So waste of feelings. Could use it to be happychappy around everyone at school and actually enjoy the remaining days of good ole year10 =D Lol. I'm so cool in realising that (H) =p Haha nah I'm sucha dork. Rofl. xP 

Yeah sometimes when someone's like :( I'm at a loss for words too. Especially in RL. I just stand there awkardly trying to search for something to say. =| Rofl.

But anyways.Thanks jennnyyyfag, I know where to find you. ;] ;] I know where you live rofl. Rahahas. *hugs.* <3 Oh & the music sounds nice yeah ;] I like it. =)

*****************************************************************************
zZzz . I am super tired :( haven't slept well for the past week *cries*. Today when I woke up the bags under my eyes were like lumps I have like wtf T__T usually in the mornings they go away after I'm awake for like 20minutes or so but today they stayed there longer. Must get good sleep haha. >=]

Cause you know, these days have been constantly contemplating due to ambivalent emotions. Rofl at <- that sentence. -_-'' But meh. It's getting better. :) Anywayyys. Things will be fine realllllll soon (= Because I believe in us =] Rahahs. & I shall try to be more understanding. & not have such high expectations. =)

Went pre-uni today. Learned so much in English it was like woah. There was so much I didn't know. Lmaos. [= Money for education :3 Hehe.  

Anyways. Aww weather's so depressing these days.. so glooooomyyy so eat instant noodles everyone ! Or other hotstuff. Makes you feel better RAHAHS especially when it's raininngggg and you're home all SAFE&warm tehes >:] and you think about all the suckers out in the rain HAHAH point & laugh at them lmaos jokes ~ I'm so mean =p 

So anyways. Moving on from the depressing weather I shall cheer everyone up with some gooood news HEHE. My results ! =D
English - 64/80 = 80% (H) SO FAR. Need one more section back. CURRENTLY HiGHEST in the class with malith. Although I'm sure I'd get chopped once we receive the short story section. Lmao. So pissed at the letter because at the end I didn't sign it and lost marks for it. *cries* But oh wells.
Maths - 84/100 = 84% (for those who are uncapable of calculating that into percentage form =p) Like ranked around 8th/9th in the whole grade maybe ?
History - 36/50 = 72%. Second in the class. >:] Yes, I beat raymond.Z+peter+sharon. LOL. Nah jokes. They're still smart -.-'' It was fluke.
Health - 23.5/24 = 98%. Second in the whole year xD
Geography - 16/20 = 80%. Second in the year so far, but that's only for the multiple choice. :) But I know for the written sections I did really bad HAHA left most of it blank :[ probably drop down to 4552621 after the results are all back. -.-

Still have two more exams next week for History+Commerce. I do not understand anything, especially in Commerce. Nothing to even study with. Mygot =.='' wish my luck, my dears!

xoxxox ~


♥ 16:18

COMMENTS (4)  

There's a hole inside <3

{Tuesday, October 17, 2006}

Okay. So in the end it was all my fault. My fault to begin with and my fault during & at the end of all this; for apparently I've said/done something so goddamn horrible that it made you choose to ignore & pretend that I do not exist for three whole months. And I don't even know what've I've done wrong. Even though I tried to think of what I did, my head comes up blank. Maybe it was too long ago, or maybe i did it unintentionally. But I guess that does not matter anymore. And now all I'm doing is aggravating this.

So it makes me wonder why you chose to talk to me again if the situation was that bad. Which then arose doubts. Despite all the things you've said, you do not act like it. & nor I do feel any of it. Your words and actions contradict each other. I cannot picture a single time when you've talked to me normally, freely, the way you do towards other people. Sure, I get jealous when I see you like that with them. Because I hate the fact that we can't be like before. Am I really that not good enough? To make you smile even? Or perhaps a casual wave or "hi" when you walk past instead of being the ignorant way you are? This is how you make me feel. Crap. Like shit. Like you only talk to me when everyone else is not available. When you need something. When you're bored. For entertainment.

Have you ever listened to me properly? A time when all you're attention is focused on me? Or at least pretended to? Instead of yawning or trying to multi-task, which therefore makes you neglect me & is oblivious to whatever I say? A modicum quantity of security about this friendship, please?


And yes, I'M SORRY I don't know what the fuck I did ok. I'm sorry I'm not the kind of friend that fits your standards; "how friends would know if you were bothered in a way.. how people should know what they did wrong and fix it themselves and not let people tell them like a puppet". So what are you trying to imply by that? That I'm not a good friend enough to notice anything? That's my impression. But meh, does it matter what I think. You don't like the way I am. What can I do about it?

Once again, I brought this upon us. Maybe it's because I expect too much from you. *shrugs; but now there's nothing. Everything is gone. Well, that is, if I ever had anything in the first place, or was it just my stupidity for believing all that you said? Either way, It's all empty now.

And I'm learning to be independent. You get hurt if you rely on someone. They have so much power over you. One small thing and they can change your mood completely. I love my dp - "never make somebody you everything cause when they're gone you've got nothing."

.. & a thousand times I ask myself "why", because I can't believe I threw it all away.


♥ 20:58

COMMENTS (4)  



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