umm ahhh i'm sorry i'm so unwilling to tell what's wrong =( . i just...... don't want you guys to worry. & it's like.. i CAN'T tell. so please don't think i'm not treating you guys as friends or whatever.. = i don't want anyone to treat or think of me different. i feel so bad for being like that infront of everyone yesterday at the station. i'm soo sorry =( . but please don't worry about me =]

ughh. it seemed fucken impossible to believe. but i know it's true. the evidence is there... i saw it with my own eyes. how interesting, finding out something like that. yeah, it was a shock. but then i thought about it, and realised that it's not as if it wasn't unexpected of you. fuck; i hate you so much, so much more than before. how the fuck could you do that to us? after all those fucken years of waiting? you owe us so fucken much, and this is what we get in return?

myoddd, i don't know what to do. i feel so effin helpless. but i know i can't tell and i understand the consequences if i tell. i want to expose&reveal the fact in your effin face so much. i hate seeing you. i can't even bear to even fucken look at you. but i want to protect them. i want them to be able to live a normal life. if it wasn't for them, i wouldn't be able to handle it. what a fucken great timing. yeah, jsut afte rwe find out someone in the family is dying, possible to "go" any momemnt, i discovered the fact. ha, talk about stress. you practically ruined our lives.

ugh. fuck i hate you. i don't even KNOW you. i never knew who the fuck you were until i was eight. yeah, you were never here for me when i was growing up. i never knew how it fucken felt like. but in a way, it's better. uncles & family friends spoiled me more than you ever did. you can never replace the gap.

arghhh i'm so sick of lifeeee overall ! fuckkeenn helll it's too much =( & NO i'm not being emo. meh. sorry but i have a tendency of getting annoyed at innocent people when im like this =( so sorry if i suddenly go off at you at school etc. =] aw talking about school michael was forced to signed out today =( how sad T-T

and umms.

thankyou for the one's that were with me yesterday - raymond trung kevin chris eddie peter . & special thanks to trung&raymond for smsing =]

knowing you guys care if enough <3 hahas. i won't be depressed infront of you's again =] i know how much you's hate seeing me like that.. i'm so lame aren't i. i'm sorrryyy everyone. =[

******************************************

if you're not asleep yet, then i'll stay up with you.
if you want to cry, then i'll accompany you.
there'll be no need to say anything...
i understand.
i really do.
& i will stand by your forever.
......................trust me.