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我谁也不怪

{Saturday, October 31, 2009}

其实我知道考试考得不好 谁也不能怪 除了我自己。。。 因为是我自己不好好的学习 才会造成这样的
但是就算是我自己活该, 是我自找的。。。 心情还是非常非常得不好
最近 动不动就不很不开心伤心 然后觉得压力太大了 跟别人比起来 自己真的是很差很差
就算是一夜不睡觉的学习 结果还是一样
所以,最近对大家无缘无故的乱发脾气的我。。。对不起。

今天早上 当你们在复习得时候, 当我听不懂你们所说的东西的时候, 当我看到别人很自信的时候。。。 当你说没有别人比我更差的时候,眼泪,突然流出来了。
我、彻彻底底的哭了。
因为我知道,你所说的,是对的。 一直担心,不平静的心情 终于全部出来了。
那时候的我,怕了。那时候的我,很无助。

现在。。。 没有力气学习 这样过的真是太累了 虽然不
续得 也知道不因该继续想 可是,就是控制不了。假日快到了又怎么样呢?还是 一点都不觉得开心

而现在明明知道我在浪费时间 因该要学习,需要学习,我却呆呆的坐在这里。
想一些不该想的东西。不在学习。

失败的感觉。。。我一点都不喜欢

而这样脆弱的我,软弱的我。。。。。我更不喜欢。

我怎么会变成这样。。。

真是太没有出息了。

是我自己对不起自己。

身体。累了。
头脑。累了。
心,也累了。

我。
真的。
感觉。
累。
了。


♥ 21:25

COMMENTS (3)  

Come out and play.

{Tuesday, October 20, 2009}

I'M SORRY I WAS SO BORED I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO STUDY FOR EXAMS :(
ahah because iloveyouguyslotsandlotsandlots <3 ILY2008 ILY2007





-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
   ✔ pete + says:
*lol why
*what do u want!?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*LOL
-   ✔ pete + says:
*:P
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*geez thanks peter. let's divorce if you can't reciprocate my feelings of affection.
-   ✔ pete + says:
*ahahah
*whats up?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*=.=
*JUST SAYING ILY
*GOSH
-   ✔ pete + says:
*dwdw ily2 :):)



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
[ ∆ ] Tam™ says:
*oh really?
*i love me too
*...what's up?



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
Werdna(F) mmmm 2007 margaret river: merlot.... says:
*??
*thx love you too



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
jin . says:
*you love me?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*yes :$
jin . says:
*...what
*why?!
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*WHY NOT?!
jin . says:
*wait as in
*attracted to me?
*or as in
*good buddies?
*joe?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*:|
*yeah =x
jin . says (11:25 PM):
*yeah to which one
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*both T_T
jin . says:
*sigh*



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
(L):P   -¤- << [ ª  K  ï  r  å ] >> -¤-    :P(L)   「     キボウ    」        ...the nobodies...     ♥ ウソ..ウソ.. says:
*hahaha
*reallyyy
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*yah =x
(L):P   -¤- << [ ª  K  ï  r  å ] >> -¤-    :P(L)   「     キボウ    」        ...the nobodies...     ♥ ウソ..ウソ.. says:
*haha in what way =P
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*every way T_T
v
*hahah
(L):P   -¤- << [ ª  K  ï  r  å ] >> -¤-    :P(L)   「     キボウ    」        ...the nobodies...     ♥ ウソ..ウソ.. says:
*in this really joanne =P
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*yes =(
(L):P   -¤- << [ ª  K  ï  r  å ] >> -¤-    :P(L)   「     キボウ    」        ...the nobodies...     ♥ ウソ..ウソ.. says:
*haha :)



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
㋡ deяek' says:
*ilurvyou2



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
'      ___» I t s  H a r r i s s s a h ! :-O says:
*lol hus this?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*=.=
*diao
*joanne
*omg
'      ___» I t s  H a r r i s s s a h ! :-O says:
*sif
*prove it
XD
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*err ok
*your fly was undone
*HAHAHAHA
'      ___» I t s  H a r r i s s s a h ! :-O says:
*OMG
*lol
*-_-
--                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*LOLOLOLOL
'      ___» I t s  H a r r i s s s a h ! :-O says:
*okok
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyouharris T_T
'      ___» I t s  H a r r i s s s a h ! :-O says:
*SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
'      ___» I t s  H a r r i s s s a h ! :-O says:
*i love u too joanne @_@



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
-                                         -          ҉ ҈ ҉ pıʌɐp ҉ ҈ ҉            -                                         - says:
*of course you do
-                                         -          ҉ ҈ ҉ pıʌɐp ҉ ҈ ҉            -                                         - says:
*everyone should love me xD



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
| charles | says:
*haha love u right back



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
ZhangBen -83n_ says:
*??
*i love me too (H)
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
*=(
ZhangBen -83n_ says:
*aww
*i love you too



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
(F)* - --^[ Mentally Unstable ]^-- - * says:
*ahaha
*ily too joanne



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
[ ∆ ] Alex says:
*<3



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
*unicef David says:
*interesting...
*XD
*why the sudden yet totally expected confession?
*=D



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
E[L]      DIu +1 year older :(!!!!! says:
*wo ai ni



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
-        oLιvєя. says:
*heh
*what u been smokin
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*nothing -_-
-        oLιvєя. says:
*lol
*wth was that
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*hahahaah
*yaah me not smoking
*ijuzloveyou
-        oLιvєя. says:
*ok -_-



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
[Malith] says:
*what game are you playing now?
*haha



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
- SpinCobra says:
*Yeah yeah
*I know
*=P



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
-                                     Wilson . says:
*share the love (L)



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
Raymond says:
*love you tooooooo



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
.....:::::Khiem:::::........ says:
*...okay
*:'(
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*why :'(?
.....:::::Khiem:::::........ says:
*you're scaring me
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*LOL



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
Matt       (li)(st)               Ughh... can't do a thumbs up again. says:
*iloveyoutoo



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
kiril           "Believers Never Die" says:
*someone's drunk.
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*im not lol
kiril           "Believers Never Die" says:
*yea. right.
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*lol im serious -.-
kiril           "Believers Never Die" says:
*......
*^o)
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*hehe
kiril           "Believers Never Die" says:
*im sorry joanne im fukcing confused.



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*hehehe
*iloveyou
leannch loves her doof doof (8) says:
*heh naww me loves you more :)



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
-                             |jυsт4чoυ__'' »  .                 「<33;」                           ××__.__☆]     says:
*O_O
*whys that
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*why not?!
-                             |jυsт4чoυ__'' »  .                 「<33;」                           ××__.__☆]     says:
*ohkai then :)
*is it some dare or something o_O



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
| kevin | says:
*oh tell me something new :P
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*:$
| kevin | says:
*so u finally realised aye :P
*i always knew u will seduce me :P
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*LOLWTF



[ Рєтєя ] said:
gosh
i already know its going on your blog
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
LOL



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
- ♥ Lalala Lily~!                                                                       [♥] Trevor bb. says:
*LOKs
*wahh`
*LOLS
*i love u too :P



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
D@vid says:
*why?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*i just do
D@vid says:
*lol
*cool haha



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
Patttt, says:
*i love you more :)
*I WIN AHAHAHA
*:)
*wth
*thats it?
*i love you less joanne
*:@
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*what?
*LOL



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
(F)°•××Pѕу¢нσℓσgι¢αℓℓу°Uивαℓαи¢є∂™×× •°    ♥    »_яємιиιѕ¢єи¢є says:
*I LOVE YOU TOOOOO =))))
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*YAY
(F)°•××Pѕу¢нσℓσgι¢αℓℓу°Uивαℓαи¢є∂™×× •°    ♥    »_яємιиιѕ¢єи¢є says:
*been wanting to tell you that for a very veryyyy long time =O =O
*SO THERE, THATS MY CONFESSION =3



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
coиaи says:
*whats your timetable like?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*LOL WHAT? but i said iloveyou
coиaи says:
*yea and i can so tell your screwing with me
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*i r not really =O
coиaи says:
*=P



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
[a³]  =Scrim Reaper= says:
*...
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*...?
[a³]  =Scrim Reaper= says:
*why are you typing without spaces?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*err sorry then
*i love you
*-_-
[a³]  =Scrim Reaper= says:
*much better.. now let's move on

..you wah?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*yah <: x
[a³]  =Scrim Reaper= says:
*stop joking around :P I love you too



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
[SBHS 08'] Dominic says:
*and you loveme.. umm..
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
*LOL
[SBHS 08'] Dominic says:
*lol how serious are you about the í love you' bit
**sigh*.. i feel rejected now :(
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*LOL
[SBHS 08'] Dominic says:
**sniff sniff*



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
iloveyou
*
-        +  +   Jung} says:
*lol?
*what did i do? *-)
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*nothing =x



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
iloveyou
*
»                suraj. (#) says:
*LOL
*iloveyoutoo



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
iloveyou
*
-              ƒ ą Đ è Đ . _____ « says:
*yes
*ilu too joanne (:



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
Steven says:
*Awhh
*I love u too lol



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
<jun> says:
*congrats
*do i get a medal?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*umm no but you get my unconditional love?
<jun> says:
*>>
*not really helpful
*but thanks anyway
*=D



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
- ` [ s ] h i m e n e __ * says:
*haha
*are you sure?
*it could be lust :-O



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
iloveyou
*
-  jeff... says:
*umm thanks?
*that's awfully random lol



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
andy pandy     the best rpg in life is life says:
*... for any particular reason?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*err no
andy pandy     the best rpg in life is life says:
*ahaha i love you too joanne xD



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:

*iloveyou
(R)              >> ahh_wonG°   ]]            <3 і шіιι ве ιøѵіиġ чόü s2           『Just Believe ~ Dreams Come True』        (R) says:
*awww ily2 xDD



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
iloveyou
*
..WUYI..                           ..小猫 <3 小奕 1314.. says:
*lol..我也爱你啊



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels said:
iloveyou
You Lose! says:
*rofl, are you drunk or something?
-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*no...
You Lose! says:
*or did you just get ur acc hacked
*haha



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
"   t r a m a n h (R) says:
*<3
*love you joanne :)



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*iloveyou
(*)01101110        piL0t_LµcķЎ Ðµcky™®[Engineer]       AlfaHolic says:
*awwww isnt that nice =)
*hug4
*well i love you too joey



-                          ★ j o a nn e  mikehehehe ♥ ferriswheels says:
*fml
*but
*iloveyou
- (¯`° sasa »  ('.')    // says:
*lol
*love ya 22222???????????????????????????
*FYLLLLLLLLLLLLLL???????????


♥ 23:06

COMMENTS (3)  

I can transform ya.

Today Oliver made me wake up at 7AM cause he said he needed to wake up at 7AM but since alarms don't work on him he told me to wake him up. He said he needed to attend a lecture at 9AM which was worth 5%. I (reluctantly :p) agreed because when I needed to wake up early on a Saturday he called me and woke me up. Hahaha. So I woke up at 7AM, called him and he said "you actually woke me up... but I lied, I was joking......." f m l. I hate you Oliver He. Faggot. =.=

I wake up better when people call me than setting alarms because if I set an alarm I'd just hit the snooze button or just turn if off. But if people call me I have the incentive to pick up the phone hahaha. Psychological effects x) sooo thanks Oliver JINZOR (lol) Sharon Lily Andrew Peter for waking me up over the past 2 weeks and for the next few weeks :D :D

So I went back to sleep and Patrick woke me up at 8:30, hehehe :) I got up after lazing in bed for a few minutes forcing my eyes to stay open. It's hard, fighting against your eyelids, you know =( but yes, I ended up waking up and I went to the library to study hehehe. It was productive, because I did more work than I've done during the few hours I was there than the whole of last week. Hehehe parra lib is love, no internet distractions, forces you to study x)

Lol @ the library today. The year 12's came after their Business Studies exam and were really happy. They were like ''omg it was easyyyy. E-Z'' One guy in particular claimed he "OWNED it" so someone asked ''what did you think you got?'' and the guy replied ''band 4.''
... So much for owning especially when business studies scales down to like, a band 3. Lol =p just shows different people have different perceptions of success, so let's not judge just cause we're asian and we have high academic standards :)

And I remember, a year ago... the number of messages I've sent to friends wishing them the best for their Business exam, while I was at home, writing my creative over and over again...And then the number of distraught messages I've received from people who declared their failure over business studies :( one friend in particular told me he had a mind blank during the exam due to no sleep the night before, and was about to "forfeit." But then, he managed to recover and write 14 pages of what he could think of, haha. It left such a big impression on me.

One year ago, I was worried, nervous, stressed and maybe just the tiniest bit excited to sit my first HSC exam. I used to think it determined the rest of my life path. And now instead of the HSC, we're bombarded by FINALS. Sigh. Such is life.

Anyways, my arms are so tired, sigh. Not only did I have to carry my heavy laptop and textbook, on the way home I bough 2x4 packets of V 350mL bottled energy drink. Gah I already drank 2 bottles today. I still feel tireed! Omggg when walking home I had to stop and rest every now and then when walking home, cause arms were too shaky and I was afraid I would drop them =( this must be what it feels like to do weights. Muscle aches. How painful.

I'm looking forward to going to the library to study with Andrew tomorrow, hehehe :)



P.S: I'm so bad, every time it's exams I procrastinate by blogging, hahah <:(


♥ 22:12

COMMENTS  


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